Our Chinese Fiesta – The Vision

If you know me personally, it’s no secret that I love weddings to the point of obsession. I started daydreaming about my own wedding and reading Weddingbee several long years before I met ST. I even had my own fantasy scrap book in the pre-Pinterest era.

Despite hours of procrastination on the Internet gathering this inspiration, we didn’t end up using any of these ideas.

I don’t remember where these images came from, since I collected them years ago. Apologies, people who are due credit!

Prior to meeting ST, I wanted a beach wedding. I envisioned myself walking barefoot on the beach, on a day when the weather was perfect, wearing an airy confection made by Amsale or Monique Lluillier. That’s the problem with fantasy wedding planning – you have an unlimited, fantasy budget. It isn’t until you’re actually engaged that you find out that weddings cost buckets and buckets of money.

In Chinese culture, the groom’s family picks up the tab for the wedding. In Mexican culture, the couple have padrinos (god parents) and relatives that sponsor parts of the wedding. While both our families contributed generously to our wedding fund, we were still responsible for about half. Luckily (and somewhat surprisingly), we were responsible enough to have savings. Kids, save your money!

Weddings are a big deal in my family. My grandma and aunts always wear beautiful, silk qipaos that are prettier than the bride’s. My mom has special outfits designated for banquets. Everyone whips out a fancy camera and is a “photographer” for the night – especially my dad. It’s always a giant family reunion since we’re scattered across the tri-state area and only see each other a few times per year.

Being the first-born and the first of my sisters to get married, I felt a bit of pressure to show everyone a good time. Fortunately, my wonderful husband wanted to do that too.

It was overwhelming at first, but somehow, we narrowed it down to this – we wanted to include people who loved us, knew us, and were overjoyed that we were getting hitched. That cut our guest list in half – we did not invite our cousin’s then-girlfriend, associate pastor at my church, random coworkers, and many others. We simply refused to invite people we didn’t know to our wedding. This caused my parents to have temper tantrums, but we stood our ground.

This was, and remains, the best decision we ever made about our wedding. Side note: We did allow my parents to invite about ten of their friends but that is nothing compared to how out of control Chinese parents can be about guest lists. Chinese people are infamous for showing up with several uninvited guests in tow but this didn’t happen to us because the people we invited cared about us. We didn’t have anyone show up with a cousin’s son-in-law’s sister’s dentist.

Our next guiding principle was, of course, the beast that was our budget.

We entertained the idea of having our reception at a trendy restaurant like Bacchus or Thalassa. Just to be cute. However, not only were these restaurants too small (they can accommodate less than 100 guests), it just didn’t feel right to serve Greek food at our mostly Chinese and Mexican wedding.

Meanwhile, my parents had been hounding us to have a Chinese banquet.

I never imagined myself as a Chinese banquet bride. Everyone in my family and in our church had Chinese banquet wedding receptions. Nothing thrilled me less than the tacky decor, boring food, and pushy, rude wait staff. But I didn’t want to disappoint my parents, so to appease yet another wedding-related beast, I turned to Google.

Within minutes, I found S. Dynasty restaurant in Midtown East. We weren’t deterred by the average Yelp reviews because it’s mostly silly people whining about not finding authentic Chinese food in Midtown. I still have lots of love for Yelp though. Their decor and prices were spot on, so we decided to have dinner there. Side note: Citysearch reviews are more accurate. But then again, why do you need them? You’re reading mine! I kid… not really.

Long story short – we loved it. The food was delicious, the decor elegant, and the staff courteous. We paid our deposit that night. Not only did it feel right, the restaurant can only accommodate about 170 guests – the magic number. My mom happily chirped, “They’d love to invite you, but the restaurant is just too small!” to all her friends.

Here are some other great things about S. Dynasty:

  • Excellent management. Steven, the manager, is wonderful to work with. I had a ton of questions and he patiently answered each one. He even got me free upgrade to a junior suite in the adjacent Radisson Lexington Hotel.
  • Location, location, location. It’s in Midtown East, away from the hustle and bustle of touristy Chinatown. And let’s be real, Midtown is much cleaner than the squalor of Chinatown. There is also a plethora of tourist attractions in the vicinity – Rockerfeller Center, United Nations, Grand Central Station, Times Square, Central Park, and Bryant Park, to name a few. It was like killing two birds with one stone for our Texan guests.
  • Delicious food. Yes, it had a bit of Americana flare, but we had OG FOBs at our wedding and they loved it. As in, scraped their dishes clean and said, “More please.” Some of our friends even refused to dance because they were too busy eating!
  • Flexible open bar. Since we knew only 4 of our 17 tables would be drinkers, it wouldn’t make sense for us to pay for a few hours of open bar. Steven allowed us to pay per bottle of wine that our guests consumed. This saved us $1,500 while our guests enjoyed 30 bottles of red and white wine selected by ST. Their liquor selection is extensive and superb.
  • Classic beauty. The decor is really clean and chic. Think mahogany wood, tasteful wallpaper, and sleek bar tops. It was really beautiful on its own, which meant it didn’t need much in the decor department.
  • Professional wait staff. The staff were so polite! Given the reputation of Chinese banquet wait staff, this was quite a shock. One time, Kim was shoved by a waitress at our friend’s wedding banquet in Chinatown. Another time, the waitress took away our food and started cleaning up the table before we were done eating. I was a bit worried that we’d hear about rude waiters and guests being punched, but I couldn’t have been happier with how wonderful the waiters were. The man who served our table was like a gentle uncle. I don’t have any gentle uncles, so that made him all the more special.

A few months after we found S. Dynasty, a coworker recommended Tillman Chapel. Everything started falling into place from there.

Up next, our ceremony!

I know I said in my last recap that the ceremony would be next… but it’s next for real this time!

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