Virginia Mom Arrested for Daughters’ Tardiness
Every night as I dutifully brush my teeth before bed, I read the news on my iPhone. Tonight, I read a very interesting article about a Virginia mom who was arrested for bringing her three daughters to school late on two occasions.
Should parents be held legally responsible for contributing to the delinquency of their children?
Before I answer that question, I want to first applaud whatever school system is responsible for this. Not because I believe the mother “deserved” to be arrested, but because these administrators clearly hold a high standard of achievement for their students. The fact that they are so on top of tardiness, an issue frequently regarded as frivolous, is a testament to their commitment to excellence. Good for you, Virginia.
The mother in this story stated that all four of them (her and her daughters) have been diagnosed with ADHD and other psychological problems that the school board is aware of. Is this information supposed to negate the fact that she is unapologetic about bringing her kids to school late? Too often do parents make excuses while they should be setting an example for their kid and taking responsibility.
Yes, I believe parents should be arrested for contributing to the delinquency of their children.
As an educator in NYC, I’ve seen some unique parenting methods, to say the least. Some parents are pretty clueless about how to reign in their children. I’ve had several parents ask me how to discipline their kids. These situations are actually not so bad. As long as the parents are cooperative and committed to helping their kid, things usually turn out okay.
On the other hand, there are many parents that have little or no interest in child-rearing, but rely on teachers to discipline, mentor, and all but clothe their kids. These are the toughest, most frustrating cases. We’ve had parents who not only support their child in cutting school, they order them lunch. We’ve had parents who not only shirk the responsibility for their child’s truancy, they demand that we find their estranged spouse so that person can handle their kid. We’ve had parents call the school for their kid, knowing he or she is not sick. I’ve heard excuse after excuse after excuse. I’ve even had a parent come to school to give their child permission to drop out of school.
And I teach at a really great school. Can you imagine what’s going on in the trenches?
Unfortunately, teachers and administrators in NYC can’t do much to hold parents accountable for their negligent ways. If I call ACS, I need to prove educational neglect and then, the case often gets dropped or is unresolved. Instead of rewarding bare-minimum parenting, we need to show parents that there are serious consequences for neglecting their children.
Parents who contribute to the delinquency of their children contribute to the down fall of society.
I had to say it!
I’m not arguing that the Virginia mom is contributing to the down fall of society because her kids were late to school twice. The excuses and refusal to take responsibility is where it all starts though and while she should not have been arrested, she does need to face appropriate consequences. Parents should be held accountable for doing their parental duties and caring about their children.
Did you react with outrage to the Virginia mom’s arrest or applause, like yours truly?
i think the dad should also be arrested cause it’s not fair to only arrest the mom. i do find to be arrested for only 2 latenesses to be a bit harsh. if they did it every day, i could see more reason to getting arrested but twice seems a bit much. traffic, extenuating circumstances can result in lateness. r the girls doing well in school? if so, i do believe the overall pic is more important than just looking at lateness. do they stab teachers with pencils? i know kids who do and their parents don’t get arrested. i’ve had students who threatened me and their parents didn’t get arrested. i think the overall pic is more important. i’ve seen too many times when the ‘authorities’ only focus on one minute aspect and common sense goes out the window quite quickly. i do tell the kids to know the rules so you’ll know when they need to be broken. who comes up w/all these rules? why can’t we see people as the unique individuals that they are and rule accordingly? of course there is much room for abuse but i guess there is where karma comes into play.
I found your site through Googling this story -- I’d first heard about it from Free-Range Kids. I very much appreciate your take on it and was relatively appalled by the comments on the original story. My parents are both school teachers, and I work in higher education. The lack of accountability for our students is frustrating and tiring. We just found out that we’re expecting our first, and our goal is to teach that child the skills necessary to be a productive member of society…including being on time.
If I weren’t on time to work, I’d lose my job. If my parents were late to class, they’d face similar repercussions. What on earth is she teaching these poor children?
It’s clear to me that the story is one-sided. While the school system isn’t stating their side of things, the mother does have a personal blog in which she outlines that this has been an ongoing issue in the past. When she was called in to a meeting with school officials, her response was that she didn’t need to go. She also apparently sent an email to the school’s full listserv declaring the need to get rid of the truancy officer. These details were conveniently left out of the version she posted to Free-Range Kids, and I can’t help but wonder what other large-scale details are missing from this story. Anyway, I applaud your comments!
First of all, congratulations on your baby! How exciting
I agree that the comments were quite disturbing on Free Range Kids. People not only applauded the mother for her actions but encouraged them and piled the blame on the truancy officer (really?) and the administration that is only trying to do what other states don’t have to balls to do -- maintain high standards.
I didn’t know she had a blog. This only confirms my suspicions that were parts of the story that were left out.
I think for the most part, those who supported the mother were not in education. I found that those who share our opinion were commonly educators and those in related fields. Your sentiment about how lack of accountability is tiring couldn’t be more accurate. It is EXHAUSTING. A few days ago, a mother came in to drop her son out of school. He’s 15. She admitted that she couldn’t discipline him. Rather than working with us (we reached out to her at least once per week regarding his truancy issues), she just gave up. I think she didn’t want to deal with school officials calling everyday.
I wish that one presidential candidate have a stance on or even mention education in their campaign. I don’t care if it’s a crazy person like Newt Gingrich. I just wish that for once, the nation would focus on education and how the lack of progress in this area is the crux of our society’s problems. The lack of accountability for parents is effectively killing the work/progress that educators are trying to make in schools. In NYC, instead of holding parents to high standards, some geniuses PAID THEM for doing things they were supposed to do, like bringing their kids to school everyday. With incentives like these, how can teachers compete?
Anyway, thanks for reading and commenting!
http://www.aljazeera.com/programmes/insidestoryamericas/2012/01/20121318318540671.html
The US has the highest prison population in the world.
How can anyone justify this as criminal behavior?
Unless the father is abusive and created these disorders, I don’t see how it is justifiable to clog the court system with this nonsense.
All the parents doing whatever it takes to get their kids to school deserve awards and the critics need a lesson in humanity.
Good point about our overwhelmed prison system. From an educator’s point of view though, we need parents to help us in supporting our children to reach higher standards.